Be Your Own Sweet Valentine!
And just like that…
The 14th February is upon us. If, like me, you were completely unaware of this until today because you are so busy living your best, single life then the appearance of loved up window displays, red roses in supermarkets and champagne filled display cabinets probably caught you off guard.
and for me, this was the best thing that could have happened! Because I realised I no longer held on to the belief that Valentines Day defines the direction of my romantic life, or makes me feel like shit if I’m not in a relationship!
This weekend, late afternoon on Sunday, I found myself walking the pound shop aisle for the most sweetest, fun things I could display in my home to make Valentines Day a fun and happy experience for my 15 year old daughter. I also picked up some cute things for my baby girl niece having an operation this week and it filled my heart with so much happiness, love and joy I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so selfless on Valentines Day.
The thing is, I’ve made it a habit, that no matter what is going on in either Ellas or my life, we make special, fun, silly memories on dates that are just ‘US’ and it has brought so much joy to both our lives! and Valentines Day is one of those memory days. But it wasn’t until today, that I realised how much I don’t depend on someone else making me feel whole, on these dates, mattered to me. Because it doesn’t fucking matter! I make these dates special, fun and happy. We have the best times and that’s all that matters!
For example, Christmas Day is spent 50/50 with me and her dad. So, if it’s my turn, in the morning, I make a BIG deal out of Christmas Day Breakfast. There are candles, the finest cutlery and crockery, Ellas breakfast of choice (usually a bagel and orange juice! but I go with it!) wrapped in red linen with a christmas cracker, bucks fizz and a table present.
You make the most out of what you are handed
I learn’t a long time ago that whilst romantic gestures, if you are lucky enough to receive one, are beautiful and special moments, when you are single, you have to make the effort for those dates to hold some positive meaning and bring happiness to your life.
With that being said, since being single, I have bought myself flowers every week and enjoyed the process of visiting my local florist, farm shop, or supermarket and picking beautiful blooms for my mood that week. I’ve purchased candles that have provided me comfort, made my home smell amazing, or given Ella some mindfulness after a stressful school day.
Since I’ve been choosing myself, buying exactly what I wanted and needed, I’ve found that ‘Special Dates’ are more fun and meaningful.
I know that when Ella grows up, at the very least, she will hold positive experiences of dates that some people may find difficult to deal with.
Trust me, I was that person too!
Valentines Day
Birthdays
Christmas
New Year
Were more often that not, complete shit shows! whether I was in a couple or not! until I made the decision to turn things on their head and make those special days ALL ABOUT ME! 😂
So no matter, what a boyfriend does or doesn’t do, I have celebrated myself, honoured my feelings and had lots of fun! and if by chance, some guy has appreciated me or Ella in some way, then that is just the cherry on the top!
It’s time, to choose yourself, celebrate yourself and do whatever the hell you damn feel like this Valentines Day!
If that means YOU making an effort and showing your love and appreciation to someone, then do it. BUT don’t let your happiness be dependent on another persons actions or lack of!
be your own happy!
Be your own Sweet Valentine
Lots of Love
Rachael xxxx